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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

guess you should know.
by me being silent doesnt mean discreet agreement;
to the things you've done, whether its right or wrong.

i've been through all sorts of obstacles in life,
but none has dragged this long.
it seems like a drama with 365 episodes;
feels like it never ends,
and it keeps going on and on, scene after scene,
whether you like it or not.

just when i thought its time to put a full stop,
problems occur again.
without fail, there will be a reason anyhow to all the arguments.

im too tired and sick to pop my ass in their conflicts.
its not like i dont feel a thing but,
im just too immuned to be bothered.
its not like i didnt do anything to make things better but,

adults are stubborn.
so stubborn where they would just listen to your words,
but not do anything about it at all.
they feel what they want to, they do what they want to,
they say what they want to, they behave how they want to.
the power to change is never in my hands.

i dont wanna be involved in between them.
thats all i could ever wish for this christmas.

Monday, December 21, 2009

I get so breathless, when you call my name,
I've often wondered, do you feel the same?
There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity
When we're all alone,
So don't tell me
You can't see
What I'm thinking of

Sunday, December 20, 2009

i keep changing blog skins wtf
semester has reach an end but expectations for results arent high.
gotten a job which is easy and relaxed despite the weird working hours.

its been weeks since i havent seen my babyboy :(
and yes, i do miss him very very much :((

dinner at my crib before he left :(

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Made For P

a box of apologies to make it up to my boy.

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Fair Lady

couldnt sleep from 3am last night until 9 this morning. head to school and teman P for shooting. Qing Liew misses me thats why she called. haha! met up and camwhore with her MacBook while waiting for P to be done.

its been really a while since i met my fair lady.
(i'll call her my fair lady from today onwards because she's freaking fair)
will work plans out for movies real soon!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

i've been going through the toughest pain i had to endure for the past week. growth of wisdom tooth can be so painful, i didnt know that. :( dad said that different people have different reactions towards it. some may not feel the pain but unlucky ones will. that obviously, includes me. :(

besides, my family has been going through quite a tough time recently. dont have to mention what because everything is okay now; i hope so. during this period, everyone in the family has to show effort and affection to put us back together. and i, as the eldest, of course would have to play my part right. fingers crossed, when the past is gone, the better day awaits.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In A Relationship

set the past aside, leave it behind and start a new chapter in this whole new story.
♥ ♥ ♥

Sunday, September 20, 2009

stop telling me that she's mad again, stop asking me whats there to do to gain him back.
both of you have been showering me with problems and questions like these for the past few months.
if your plans are to blow out my mind, you got it; sooner or later.
i've had enough.

its like buying apples without considering if its good or not. when you start eating it and found out it was rotten, you come to me and spit it out right at my face, asking me why did it turn out like this.

should the ones who behaved badly and caused the tragic aftermath be responsible for what we go through today; not me. not because im the eldest, not because im the wiser one.

i feel deeply pressured every time i think things in between. knowing the fact that im a part of it no matter what, i feel that i am in desperate need to mend things up. not to fix it flawlessly but at least for the better.

leave the past behind.
if you dont,
you'll never move on,
you'll never be happy again.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


i couldnt take this anymore. i need to shouuuutttt ! do you think you could just come and go as you like and whenever you want? you've never respected my privacy do you? you dont have any ethics because you're just purely uneducated, yes you are. i wonder whats in that 0.0001mm mind of yours, for you could just appear in my sight out of no where. do you know that your presence never failed to freak the shit out of me every single time? sorie but the fact is, you are ugly. you are the ugliest thing i've ever seen in my life. i dont like you at all you see. so can you please stop bothering me and stop making my life miserable? i really couldnt be patient to you anymore and i have reach my limit of tolerance. if i ever see you again, i'll just have to eliminate you from the world. you are just a disgrace of your race and you're taking too much space on the earth. im so hating you to the extent where i've made a vow to myself. if i ever see you again, i will make sure your skinny limbs are scattered around the world, your brains are stuffed in your anus, your faeces comes out from your nose and your intestines are crushed into liquid form. in short, i will take your life away from you without letting you any chance to beg at all, BY ALL MEANS.

how does that sound? :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

its been four fucking days since i fell sick. why am i still dealing with all these pain? damn i am so emotionally disturbed now. i am emo, bitch. its a friday night but i dont feel like heading out. but for rachy's sake i decided to grasp some fresh air outside. in the end, plan was cancelled and it brought me down to the ground. besides, P just had an accident in JB and i am missing him terribly. tried to call but i guess his phone was dead. "hello, the person you called is unavailable" blablabla fuck im worried :(

why is this happening to me? im totally not a fan of mood swings but it did hit on me! menstrual period is not here yet. maybe thats the reason to it. i shall stop ranting and put myself to sleep.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

class has started! but i fell sick. Baby Rachy accompanied me to the clinic last night. glad that everyting is all good, just needed some rest to recover.

Qing! she removed her extensions and trimmed her hair. babe, dont worry. you still look good although your hair is short okay. :)

had lunch with her in Sushi Zanmai, Pyramid.

G.I. Joe. i give it an 8 out of 10 rating. its damn cool! i love to see an asociation unite as a force to defeat the opponent. i love unity! and i really adore Sienna Miller with her dark colored hair. one word, HOT.

been wearing mask lately to avoid the significant H1N1. i gotta go. need some rest again. those medicines are vaguely knocking the shit out of me. please take precaution steps and drink more water to avoid falling sick people!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

♥ How did I fall in love with you?

its been 2 months since semester break started. just like that, new semester has come and i am starting class next week. drove to school on monday and settled all the payments for repetition and resource fees. i feel like a big girl and am proud for handling all of these all by myself :) of course, i had to thank daddy cause it was him who taught me how to be independent.

sigh, talking about that made my day a bit gloomy. despite all that dad has done for me, i am acting in an irresponsible manner and made him foolish like that. :( i was fucking shocked when the statement of the amount paid since i started this course laid in my hands. the thoughts on my mind for failing all these while was just pure consolation to myself, nothing regarding the price he had to pay for stupid mistakes i've done. its a fucking 30k man i feel like a jerk and i dont tink i've accomplish any skills at all. i've not done anything good and to be honest, i still dont know how to handle the sewing machine and i've not sew anyting at all for my assignments. kill me now please. i dont wanna go on further about this or else i'll feel even worse.

anyway, i told myself, this would be the last time that i am ever gonna let him down. no more fucking around and waste dad's money down the drain no more! this WILL NEVER happen anymore!

things with P are gradually evolving to the better; i guess. bought candies for him and his nigga boys, they went jumping around happily like happy kids!

had been spending lotsa quality time with Baby Rachy lately; sleepovers, shopping, pool and drinking sessions. i realised i've develop stronger feelings of more than just bestfriend towards her. i tink the bond between us is even closer than biological sisters. precisely, an indescribable friendship!

and urm, bought this Takara Tomy remote toy car for P, from Toy R Us. the size is damn damn cute, say about 2 inches or lesser? omgatz!

it even has a Turbo button where once you press on it, the tiny car will move faster, just like what NOS does to your car :D


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

nose was fcking annoying these days wtf

i feel complete today. its all thanks to my 12 hours journey in slumberland. weeee! P woke me up today :) went down for food and grab a piece of big ass curry puff. the size was as huge as my hands you know, and i manage to shove it all down my throat. hahaa. anyway, i stoned for a bit while im eating it because P said my face looks like karipap! what an insult ! :(

went for seafood dinner in Puchong and coincidently, the table code was P! P for hehehehe :P

my cousin and her daughter, Komachi, came from Japan for holidays.

we rarely have photographs together. do we look alike? :)

I ♥ Mom !

had these for supper last night. some apricot pudding my cousin brought from japan.

fucking sweeeet and i likeeee :D

i miss P :)

Monday, July 27, 2009

i dont tink words could express how i feel at the moment. :D :D :D after a long year, after finally talking, i met P for the very first time; with the accompany of my beloved dad, stouts and heinekens somewhere in cyberia. HAHAA WTF oh well, i have to admit that i am feeling a little bit afraid if he doesnt turn out to what i least expected. however, in the end, the outcome was totally more than what i thought it would be. i tink i am happy like that. :)

on another thought, i need to confess i used to think that wealth and appearance is really important to me for a boyfriend. but now, i guess its all different already. when they say love is blind, they really mean it. nevermind, fuck that part. now, all that's important to me are trust, honesty, sincerity, pure intentions and the way he treats you. you people should know how human would change when time comes, but right now, this is the way i feel about it lah.

as much as i put my trust in him, i reminded myself that i shouldnt completely or easily believe someone, in detail; males. i know i shouldnt be biased to him for the fact that all my previous boyfriends had lied to me in different tings. but . . life always gives you lemon just when you're beginning to taste sweetness.

anyway, again, everyting is fated. i'll just move on with the flow and have faith in myself.

p/s : my car got clamped for illegal parking wtf! stupid residents who dont fucking know how to drive and yet complained that i was blocking their way. -_-

Friday, July 24, 2009

since i've gotten my driving license, AIIII am the driver now. mom has been giving me tasks to fetch my bro while she's having fun in KLCC. but its okay, its all fine by me. :)

hung out with Jolene and Baby Rachy last night. it was fun catching up with the bitchy toufu again. LOL

this photograph was taken last year end i guess. shall take more with my girls soon!

on a random note, i knew i love you before i met you. yes? no? lol? hope i'll feel the same no matter what may happen. i dont wanna be a heartbreaker :(

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

♥ I Want My Superman :D

omfg. im slowly turning my life back to my unhealthy days. i've been having overdose sleep these days. hence, im gonna talk about the dream i had this morning, or afternoon. well, i was ... -__- have you guys ever wanted to recall your dreams but suddenly, you just tend to forget every single thing without a trait.

nevermind, at least i remembered this! i was thinking alot about having another puppy; preferably white maltese :) before i went to bed. wouldnt it be soooo nice if you could have an indoor companion which its barking is the first ting you woke up to, sleeps with you on the bed, a pillar of strength whenever you felt afraid, alone or whatever that weakens you, witness everyting that happens to you, practically live with you like your other half in life and the best part is, it would never ever cheat on you or betray your feelings for anyting at all. :)

oh my, talking about it makes me even more eager to own a Maltese. why Maltese? because they are the cutest creature on earth! :D hehehe


anyways back to the dream. i dreamt that my puppy, allegedly known as a mixture of almost 10 breeds wtf ( i didnt even remember how it looked like) and the funny part was, it has a looooongg name that consist of all the dogs name you could ever tink of. haha its shit aint it! lol

so when i woke up, i started browsing names for dogs. i found quite alot of ridiculous and hilarious names. such was like Babushka, Bahama Mama, Banner why the f you wannna name your dog a banner? hahahahhaha , MADAME BUTTERFLY HAHAHAHAHAHA Mahi Mahi, MAI TAI (maybe its some kind of thai name), Pokerface and so on. okie, i dont know if i should laugh about those or not. but who cares HHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i see potentials in names like Bam-Bam, Baileys ( damn nice drink wtf ), Pebbles, PORSCHE *laughs*, Pudding, Muffin, Skittles, Jello, Babylove, Chery ( thats the name of my tamagotchi last time lol), Whisky, Chivas, Cola, Green tea okay its getting more retarded. on top of all, i would very much love to call my petdog SUPERMANNN :D of course, if its a male. if vice versa, i'll tink about that when i am really getting one.

one more photo. they said its ChangMin's pet dog. you know, the dude from dbsk or tvxq whatever is that. LOL


anyways, im ending this post here. take care!

Monday, July 20, 2009

i feel emo-ness out of a sudden. :l listening to emo malay songs like tak bisa memilihmu & tanpa by 6ixth sense, menanti sebuah jawaban by Padi and berhenti berharap by Sheila on 7. maybe its because i woke up late and had no plans for the day. oh well, time flies. my semester begins on August 3rd and i doubt everyting would be the same again. there i would be, dealing with classmates most probably younger than me a year of two, for my own ridiculously made mistakes.

in another happier note, we celebrated Eli's birthday in Cova Restaurant on the 17th of July. Food was great and managed to meet a couple of new faces :) Definitely gonna be back for more.

photographs are limited cause am still waiting for the lazy photographer to upload more. /cheese

and had a splendid outing with Baby Rachy last week. ♥

that's about it i guess.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

i had never posted any videos on my blog. but these duos are awesome shits.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

im stunned over everyting that has happened. although its unbelievable, i hope it would turn out great. :)

i want these!


Monday, July 13, 2009

slow shutter night scene by Chong yee. please tell me this photograph is damn cool! haha

a beautiful piece from P :)
We came from two different worlds
there is a lot to talk about,
your silence brings out the girl in you.
I’ve fallen harder than usual

I’ll share a secret with u,
I am afraid to love again,
I don’t know what’s in that mind of yours,
I feel like im in a cubical

night has come,
I cant seem to,
rest my head,
and I am restless

you are the,
reason why,
I live for,

a special world for you and me,
a special bond one cannot see,
im high on life,this isn’t easy.
as much as you're a afraid, i am too. im afraid that im gonna break your heart like how william sings, imma heartbreaker, imma heartbreaker. im not confident in myself. :(

Sunday, July 12, 2009

♥ I Have Faith

i didnt realize that i havent blog about the tattoo tingy. so it was last april on the 10th if im not mistaken, Qing & Bryan Chin accompanied me to BlackCat in Sunway Pyramid for the tattoo session. i must recommend that BlackCat is the choice you should opt for cause the service and the artwork is really worth to be compliment.

i was scratching my head, unable to decide what should i tattoo and where should i do it on. after lots of mind cracking and opinions, i had finally decided to have faith at the back of my neck/shoulder.

this is the rough sketch of the tattoo that the tattooist drew.

one of the partners of BlackCat.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (the sound of the tattoo device) i like that sound :D

The process :

first, Julian measures the suitable length for the design below my neck.

Drawing the rough sketch of the design.

An outline of the tattoo.

Completing his artwork. the letter A was the most hurtful part :(


applying alcohol to kill bacteria.

many asked, why faith? i personally adore the meaning of it because it reminds me that no matter what i do in life, no matter what outcomes i may encounter, i should have faith in myself and, i have faith on me. :)

Bryan was there to add some shit to his tattoo hahahhahaha.

thanks for the ride anyway! ^^

chilling in KimGary with Qingqing :D

thanks for being the photographer darling!


Saturday, July 11, 2009

i've just gobbled a big pack of chicken rice all by myself. :(

and few minutes ago, Praveen Chan made a phone call to me all the way from thailand. he's telling me that the reason he called is to make me jealous because he's now in Patong Beach and they have clubs and bars over there. wtf i know lah Perhentian got no night entertainment but i had fun okay!

sigh, the phone call made me reminisce the days when i was in Perhentian Island.

it seems that i really need to control my diet.

by the way, i've quit my job. im serious okay, no jokes. i find it hard to cope with. not the job itself but the ways i had to go through to get to work. i swear it is ten times more exhausting than my previous jobs. anyway, its all solved and i feel so free again! now i started realising why misuse the holidays given? we are supposed to take a break from the long semester and get enough rest or chill like you never did. why must we let our time gets occupied by work while all you did in school was nothing more than work, work and work. no doubt that having a job during free time is actually a beneficial ting but as for me now, i tink there's no need for it. you can always find money but money cant buy back the time you've lost. :)

on another note, its been a while since i've been in a relationship. every time fate comes, i would decline by saying that i wanto be single and enjoy my life. i dont need a boyfriend or commitments and stuffs; that has always been my principles. but tings were like different now. i hate to admit that at times i do feel lonely but however, i get over it real easily.

you know some times, you cant control your feelings although you knew that it isnt what you want. and when you decided you might wanto give it a try, you suddenly feel really scared if you would end up hurting that someone because of your strong principles.

come to tink of it, maybe he's the right one, who appears at the right time.

this is so messed up man!